


T'was My Own Heart (That Told Me So)

by livvywritesgay (livvywrites)



Series: Dilly Boy [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Child POV, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Kid Fic, Kid!Fic, Larents, M/M, Mpreg, Mpreg Harry, No Smut, Parent Harry, Parent Louis, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-23
Updated: 2018-09-23
Packaged: 2019-07-16 03:45:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16077701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/livvywrites/pseuds/livvywritesgay
Summary: Oliver knows about the hopsital. Daddies have told him that when Baby is ready to be borned, they have to go to the hopsital to help her out of Daddy’s tummy. Oliver’s not supposed to come with, it’s only for Mummies and Daddies. That’s why Nana’s coming, Daddy said, but Oliver didn’t know Baby was coming today! On a Wednesday!Oliver's Daddies are the most in love. And now he's getting a Baby! His life is pretty good. The best even. He loves his life. And he loves his family.





	T'was My Own Heart (That Told Me So)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LordOfDirectioners](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LordOfDirectioners/gifts).



> Here it is! I've been working on this for a while (although not as long as I'd liked because I scrapped my first idea about three weeks ago), and I'm glad it's finished for me to publish. 
> 
> I've always been interested in writing for an exchange, and now I've finally done it. I loved how free this challenge was, and it was an easy way in to this exchange world. It's been a journey, but I'm glad I did it. It's helped me with my writing, and I feel like I've grown as a writer.
> 
> My prompt was "Harry and Louis are soulmates, and everything is just falling into place for them".
> 
> Writing and reading kid fics is my biggest guilty pleasure, and this has been an absolute joy to write. Thank you, obviously, to [LordOfDirectioners](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LordOfDirectioners) for the prompt, I love how sweet and straight to the point it was. 
> 
> Also, the biggest thank you to [Chloe](https://chloehl10.tumblr.com/) for betaing for me! I've never had a beta before, but Chloe is such a sweetheart and helped me through this journey. Thank you for both betaing, and being someone to bounce my ideas off of, as well as cheering me on. I'd like to dedicate this fic to you too.
> 
> As always, please enjoy, and let me know what you think of it!

__

 

It’s dark when he opens his eyes. It’s quiet too, but only almost because he can hear the grasshoppers from outside his open window. He’s not sleepy anymore, and maybe this is morning time even though it’s dark out. He looks at his clock next to the bed, and the sun isn’t up there either, but maybe that means it’s _almost_ morning time. Tummy is talking now, it wants food, probably pancakes, and it’s probably best to wake up Daddies to let them know it’s morning. It’s _at least_ time for a film. Maybe _Tangled_. Or _Tarzan_.  
  
He slides down from the bed, legs and bum first, because that’s what Daddy’s taught him. It’s easy to find the door even if it’s dark because of the little night light by the door. It’s pretty and has elephants on it. Oh! He gasps and turns back to his bed, reaching on his tiptoes to reach Ellie the Elephant. She likes watching films in the morning too.  
  
Daddies’ bedroom is not far from his own room, it only takes like three seconds to run, but he’s not actually allowed to run inside so it takes a little longer. Daddies’ door is a little open, it always is at night time because sometimes he gets nightmares, so he can walk right in. One of his Daddies is snoring like a lorry, and he feels sorry for his other Daddy for being forced to sleep next to that. He sneaks up next to his snoring Papa and pokes his cheek.  
  
 “Papa,” he whispers. He knows he has to be quiet like a mouse when Daddies are sleeping, and he’s really good at whispering! He’s probably the best at whispering actually. Papa doesn’t even wake up, he’s so good.  
  
 “Papa!” he whispers again, a little louder this time. He pokes his cheek again. “Pa, I wanna watch _Tangled_.” Papa scrunches his nose up and he looks funny like that, so Oliver giggles into Ellie the Elephant’s fur. He pinches Papa’s nose so he stops breathing, and that’s when he opens his eyes. They’re blue, like his, and he loves having the same colour eyes as Papa.  
  
 “Oliver, stop that,” Papa says and his voice sounds funny when he pinches it. “What are you doing up, baby, it’s still night time.”  
  
Oliver shakes his head.  
  
 “Nuh-uh Papa, it’s not night time because I’m not sleeping anymore.” Papa closes his eyes again, and before Oliver can poke his face, Papa grabs his little hand.  
  
 “Pa, I wanna watch _Tangled_!” he whines. Papa sighs and looks at him with tired eyes.  
  
 “Why don’t you ever wake up Daddy?” Oliver raises his eyebrows and puts his hands at his sides.  
  
 “Because,” he says with the voice Daddy tells him sounds like Papa, “Daddy is _sleeping_.”

 

When Daddy comes down a little while later, when Eugene is climbing Rapunzel’s hair -- which is really Mother Gothel’s --, Oliver’s clutching snoring Papa’s hand, and sucking on Ellie the Elephant’s ear.  
  
 “Good morning, my love,” Daddy whispers, stroking Oliver’s hair away from his face. It’s not curly like Daddy’s, but Daddy says his was straight too when he was little, so it’s okay. Papa’s got straight hair too. It’s starting to get grey like Grandpa and Grandad’s hair, and it’s funny because Papa’s just a Papa, not a Grandpa. Papa tells him it’s because Oliver’s a menace.  
  
 “Morning Daddy. Can you sit here please. I don’t like this part, and Papa only sleeps and sleeps.” Daddy sits down and grabs the blanket from the other sofa. They all sit in the smaller one, so it’s squishy, but Oliver loves it, loves being close to his Daddies.

 

After lunch, Oliver and Daddy look in a photo album from when Oliver was a baby. There is a photo where Daddy is throwing baby Oliver high, high up in the air. Baby Oliver is laughing, and Daddy too, and probably Papa also but he took the photo so Oliver can’t know for sure. It looks very fun, so he asks Daddy to do it again now! Daddy looks at him and tells him to stand up. He measures Oliver’s head to his hips.  
  
 “You’re still little,” he says. “I think I can manage.” Oliver pouts and tells Daddy he is _four years old_ and a _big boy now_.   
  
 “Of course you are, darling, but you’ll always be my baby, Dilly boy.” And then Daddy throws him in the air like in the photo and Papa shouts at Daddy to be careful in his _con-di-tion_. Oliver doesn’t know what con-di-tion means, and it’s a hard word, but he’s practiced and can _almost_ say it right now.

 

Papa talks a lot about Daddy’s con-di-tion, and it sounds like he’s trying to trick Oliver like Daddies do when they don’t want to say what they’re getting him for his birthday. He asks Nana about it the next day when he’s there playing, but she doesn’t want to tell him, says he should ask Daddies.

 

***

 

He doesn’t get to ask Daddies until night time, when Daddy’s singing him to sleep. It’s a nice lullaby, Oliver’s favourite, and he wants Daddies to sing it every night.

 

“ _Lavender’s blue, dilly dilly, lavender’s green_

_When you are king, dilly dilly, I shall be queen._

_Who told you so, dilly dilly, who told you so_

_T’was my own heart, dilly dilly, that told me so._

 

_Call up your friends, dilly dilly, set them to work_

_Some to the plough, dilly dilly, some to the fork._

_Some to the hay, dilly dilly, some to thresh corn_

_Whilst you and I, dilly dilly, keep ourselves warm._

 

_Lavender’s blue, dilly dilly, lavender’s green_

_When you are king dilly dilly, I shall be queen._

_Who told you so, dilly dilly, who told you so?_

_T’was my own heart, dilly dilly, that told me so.”_

 

 “Daddy?” Oliver asks when Daddy finishes the lullaby.  
  
 “Yes, my love?” Daddy says, leaning down and blowing a raspberry on Oliver’s tummy. He keeps doing it, and Oliver laughs so much he almost wees himself.  
  
 “Daddy, I have a very serious question!” Daddy stops blowing raspberries. He sits up and pretends to look serious. He’s smiling, that’s how Oliver knows he is pretending.  
  
 “What’s your serious question, Dilly?  
  
 “What does con-di-tion mean? Papa says it all the time when we play, and Nana said it today also. Is it something bad? Are you ill? Can’t we play anymore?”  
  
Daddy smiles. Oliver doesn’t understand why, it’s a serious problem. What will happen if Daddy’s ill? Thinking about it makes Oliver super sad. Daddy must see, because he lifts Oliver into his lap and kisses his cheeks, instead of blowing raspberries.  
  
 “Oliver,” Daddy says and kisses him all over his face. Oliver giggles, but his eyes are still sad. “My sweetest boy, don’t you ever worry about me not being able to play with you anymore. I’ll play with you every day of our lives if you want. Even when you’re too old and cool for your Daddy, I’ll wanna play with you.” Oliver rolls his eyes like he’s seen Papa do when Daddy’s being silly.  
  
 “D’you know what? I think we should go to Daddies’ bedroom, and Papa and I’ll explain everything to you, all right?”  
  
Uh oh. That sounds serious. Daddies only talk together if Oliver’s been bad or something sad has happened, like when Gramma and Grandpa Robin died.  
  
 “Why can’t you just tell me?”  
  
 “Because it’s something we want to tell you together. If only I tell you, Papa will be very sad. You don’t want that, do you? I promise it’s nothing bad, Dilly.” Oliver nods, and brings Ellie the Elephant with him just in case it _is_ something bad. Daddy would never lie to him, but sometimes Oliver gets sad anyway.  
  
They walk together hand in hand, down the corridor, and it takes much longer than three seconds. Oliver looks up at Daddy, and tugs his hand a little so Daddy’ll look at him.  
  
 “What’s up baby boy?” Normally, Oliver would argue that he isn’t a baby anymore, but Daddy is maybe ill, so he thinks it’s okay this time. He knows Daddy only calls him that because he loves him anyway.  
  
 “I love you Daddy,” he says. “You’re the bestest Daddy ever.” Daddy smiles, and squeezes Oliver’s hand.  
  
 “That’s lovely to hear, Dilly. I love you too, darling.”  
  
Papa is reading when Daddy and Oliver come into the room. He’s wearing his glasses and doesn’t even have a shirt on. Sometimes Daddies don’t wear a shirt, and Oliver thinks that’s weird because it’s much nicer sleeping without pajama bottoms than without a shirt. Oliver lets go of Daddy’s hand, and runs over to Papa’s side, leaning over him to look at the book.  
  
 “Why are you reading a book without pictures Pa? Isn’t it boring?” Papa closes the book and picks Oliver up, lifting him on the bed.  
  
 “I think the important question is why you’re not in bed sleeping, babe. Your bedtime was ages ago.” Oliver looks down at Ellie the Elephant, and rubs her ear between his fingers.  
  
 “Because Daddy’s in a con-di-tion, and he said you had to talk to me together, and that means he’s going to die like Gramma and Grandpa Robin and I don’t like that.” Papa doesn’t say anything, only looks first at Oliver, then at Daddy with a frown on his face.  
  
 “Oliver,” Papa says. “Oliver, love, look at me. Daddy isn’t gonna die, that’s not what condition means. Why would you think that?” Papa sounds sad, and Oliver wipes at his eyes because now he’s sad too.  
  
 “Because,” he sobs, “because no one would tell me. You say it all the time when we are playing, and Nana didn’t wanna tell me, and I just don’t know what it means.” Someone strokes his hair out of his face, and he thinks it’s Daddy, because he does it all the time. Papa wipes the tears from his cheeks, and pulls him close to his chest. He’s nice and warm even though he’s not wearing a shirt.  
  
 “Oh, love,” he says. “I’m sorry no one told you what it means. Please don’t be sad. Daddy and I’ll tell you everything, we just wanted to make sure everything’s all right first.” Oliver snuggles closer to Papa, because he’s still a little sad.  
  
 “Do you remember,” Daddy says, stroking his back underneath his pajama shirt, “when Jasmine from nursery had a baby sister?” Oliver does remember. Jasmine’s sister had come to visit with her Mummy, and she’d been so little. She’d been very pretty.  
  
 “Uh-huh,” he says. “She was pretty and little like my doll.” He peeks out from Papa’s chest, and Daddy is nodding.  
  
 “Right? And do you remember when Papa came to pick you up, and you said you wanted a baby sister, too, just like Papa and Jasmine?”  
  
 “Yes,” Oliver says. “Papa has five sisters and one brother and Daddy has one sister, but I have zero brothers and zero sisters.” Daddy nods again.  
  
 “Well, Daddy and I talked about it, and we thought it was unfair how you don’t have any siblings.” It’s Papa talking now, and it sounds funny when Oliver has his ear on Papa’s chest. Almost like a microphone. “So we decided to have another baby.” Oliver sits up from Papa’s chest.  
  
 “What? Where do we pick it up? Do we have to go to the shop?” Daddies laugh, why are they laughing? Oliver wasn’t making a joke.  
  
 “No, honey, we don’t have to go the shop,” Papa says, still laughing. “The baby is growing in Daddy’s tummy.”  
  
 “In Daddy’s tummy?” Oliver asks. It’s so weird. “Why? Did he eat it? Daddy, you can’t eat babies, that’s mean!”  
  
 “No, silly,” Papa laughs, “Daddy didn’t eat the baby, that’s weird. Babies grow in their Mummy’s or Daddy’s tummy until they’re big enough to be born. You were in there, too.” Oliver frowns.  
  
 “I was?”  
  
 “Yeah,” Daddy says, “remember we looked at those photos when you were a baby, and you asked Daddy why my tummy was so big before you were born. That’s because you lived there, Dilly.” Oliver still doesn’t understand.  
  
 “But your tummy isn’t big now. Is it only a tiny baby?” Daddy nods.  
  
 “Right now it is. It’s only teeny tiny, but it’ll grow to be big like you was. And then Daddy’s tummy’s gonna be big like in the pictures.” Oliver thinks a little. He remembers Auntie Fizzy’s tummy being big as well, before baby Noah was borned. _Maybe_ Daddies are telling the truth. _Maybe_ they’re not tricking him.  
  
 “Okay,” he says and shrugs his shoulders. “S’long as you didn’t eat the baby, Daddy.” Daddies laugh again, and this time Oliver does too because he is gonna have a baby soon, and that makes him happy.

 

***

 

So, Daddy’s got a baby in his tummy. Oliver still doesn’t really know how it got there, but Daddies said it’s because they love each other, and Oliver knows they do, so they’re probably telling the truth.  
  
Daddies really love each other. Oliver knows because even if they fight, they always kiss and make up. Sometimes they kiss a little too much, and Oliver thinks it’s icky, but it’s all right when they’re in love.  
  
Daddies are in the living room talking. Oliver is supposed to be asleep, but the monsters under his bed are roaring tonight. He sits at the top of the stairs, hiding behind Ellie the Elephant. If Daddies look up, they’ll see Ellie, and be angry at her instead. Pretty smart plan. They’re smiling, and Papa’s lying on top of Daddy’s legs, kissing his tummy. Oliver’s little sister or brother is in Daddy’s tummy, so he knows Papa’s kissing Baby. Oliver wants kisses too, but he’s hiding so he has to wait until morning time. Daddy is watching Papa like Eugene’s looking at Rapunzel in _Tangled_. Daddies are the most in love in the world. Oliver knows other people who are in love, like Auntie Gemma and Uncle Michal, and Auntie Fizzy and Uncle Reece. But Daddies are the most in love.  
  
Oliver has heard stories about when Daddies were not Daddies. They knew each other before Oliver even was borned, that’s pretty long. He’s a big boy now. They’ve been in love forever probably. Oliver believes that when Daddies were borned, a little piece of Papa was in Daddy, and a little piece of Daddy was in Papa. When they grew up to be big boys, they came together like magnets. Gramma once told him Daddies fell in love as soon as they met. Oliver only remembers Gramma a little because she died when he was just a baby, but he remembers her loving Daddies as much as Oliver does. They talked a lot about Daddies.  
  
Sometimes Oliver watches Daddies. He likes to just sit and be quiet and look at them. They’re always touching, kissing and hugging. They call each other love, darling, or baby, and sometimes Oliver gets confused because other grown ups call Daddies Louis and Harry, but they only call each other that when they’re mad or serious. Sometimes, when Daddy’s being silly, Papa calls him Harold, even though that’s not Daddy’s name. When that happens, Daddy calls Papa Lewis, and then he laughs like a duck.  
  
When Oliver’s even bigger, like Daddies, he wants to find love like theirs.

 

***

 

It’s a Wednesday when Oliver’s sister is borned. Papa wakes up Oliver like usual, but when Oliver is brushing his teeth after breakfast, Papa runs into the bathroom and yells at him to hurry up. Nana is coming, which is weird because she never comes on a Wednesday. She comes at Tuesdays and Sundays. Papa grabs Oliver’s hand and runs down the stairs. Oliver frowns. Running inside is not good, but running down the stairs is _forbidden_.  
  
 “Pa?” Oliver asks, still a little sleepy, “why are you running, you’re not supposed to inside!”  
  
 “We have to hurry, that’s all, baby,” Papa says. “Daddy’s having your sister, so we have to go to the hospital.”  
  
Oliver knows about the hopsital. Daddies have told him that when Baby is ready to be borned, they have to go to the hopsital to help her out of Daddy’s tummy. Oliver’s not supposed to come with, it’s only for Mummies and Daddies. That’s why Nana’s coming, Daddy said, but Oliver didn’t know Baby was coming _today_! On a Wednesday!  
  
Nana is already downstairs when Papa and Oliver comes down.   
  
 “Nana, I’m having a baby!” Oliver shouts, even though he’s not supposed to. If Papa can run, then Oliver can shout, it’s an exciting day. Nana is smiling, and it looks like she’s crying. Oliver doesn’t know why, it’s a happy day, no one should be sad. Baby is coming!  
  
Daddy’s standing close to the door, holding his back and it looks like he’s in pain. Oliver frowns.  
  
 “Daddy, are you hurt? Is Baby hurting you?”  
  
 “Yeah, but that’s only because she’s excited to come out and see you!” Daddy says, and he smiles but it looks weird. Oliver keeps an eye on Daddy so he doesn’t hurt _too_ bad when Papa puts his shoes on.  
  
 “Ollie baby, come and say goodbye to Daddies,” Papa says after helping Daddy with his jacket. Oliver runs up to them, and hugs and kisses first Papa, then Daddy, then Baby.  
  
 “Bye-bye Baby, hope I see you soon! Be nice to Daddies please.” Daddies kiss him one last time before hurrying to the car. Nana and Oliver watches from the door and waves to them when they drive off. Oliver is a little sad Daddies are leaving without him, but Nana grabs his hand and walks to the living room.  
  
 “Nana, when can I see Baby?” he asks as Nana’s putting on _Peppa Pig_ on the telly.  
  
 “Not just yet, Ollie. She might not come out for a couple of hours.”  
  
 “Okay. Is Baby coming to Nursery with me when Daddies are working? I can help her where everything is.” Nana laughs.  
  
 “No, honey, Baby isn’t going to nursery for a long time. She’s just gonna be a teeny tiny baby when she comes out. Daddies are gonna be home with her for a bit.” Oliver sighs.  
  
 “Oh,” he says. “Maybe I can show Baby Nursery later.” Nana nods and strokes his hair.  
  
 “I think that’s smart.” Nana strokes his hair until he feels sleepy again. Even if it’s a baby thing to do, he decides it’s probably best for a nap. It’s probably because he’s a big brother soon, he thinks. He’s an even _bigger_ boy now than only yesterday. But he needs to prepare for a Baby in the house. Daddies said babies sometimes are awake at night time, so it’s probably best if he sleeps when he can. Ellie the Elephant is pretty sleepy too. Nana can wake them up when it’s lunch time. Oliver hopes Nana will make him chicken nuggets.

 

***

 

Daddies are gone for _ages_. Oliver naps, eats lunch, plays footie in the garden with Nana, plays inside with Lego, _and_ eats ice cream before Papa comes home. _Without_ Daddy and Baby. He talks to Nana how everything went well, and how she was _50_ _centimetres_ and weighed _just over 3 kilos_. Oliver doesn’t know what any of that means. He stands up on the sofa and pokes at Papa’s cheek  
  
 “Papa?” He says, interrupting because he needs to know where Daddy and Baby is. “Where is Daddy?” Papa turns away from Nana.  
  
 “Sit down please,” he says, and Oliver obeys because he’s a good boy. “Daddy’s still at the hospital with your little sister.” He turns to talk to Nana again, but Oliver pokes his cheek one more time.  
  
Papa sighs like he’s annoyed, but smiles anyway. “Yes Oliver?”  
  
 “But why? Why can’t they come home. I wanna see Baby! I need to meet my little sister. I’m a big brother now Papa.”  
  
 “I know, darling,” Papa says. “I came home to pick you up. I just wanted to tell Nana about it. She wants to know too, you know.” He picks up his phone from his pocket. Papa’s still wearing outside clothes inside. That’s weird, but grown ups are allowed to do what they want, Daddy said. Not fair.  
  
 “Here she is,” Papa says and shows a photo of a teeny tiny baby. She’s all red and looks like she’s sleeping. She has a lot of dark hair, like Daddy, but is wrinkly like an old lady. She’s laying on Daddy’s chest, and he looks super happy on the photo, but also sleepy. Oliver points at the photo.  
  
 “Is that Baby?” Papa nods. “She looks like an old little lady. Isn’t she only a baby?” Both Papa and Nana laughs, and when Oliver looks up from the photo, Nana’s crying as well.  
  
 “Nana, why are you crying? Are you sad Baby looks like an old lady?” Nana shakes her head.  
  
 “No, Oliver, that’s not why I’m crying. I’m just really happy. I have another grandchild now. I think she’s gorgeous, don’t you think?” Nana wipes away her tears. Oliver shrugs.  
  
 “I guess so.” He looks at Papa. “Did I look like an old lady when I was borned, Papa?” Papa grins.  
  
 “No you looked like a baby. And your sister looks like a baby, that’s how babies look when they’re born, silly.” Oliver looks at Papa like he’s the silly one.  
  
 “Do you wanna go see her?” Papa asks, and Oliver’s never been more excited in his life.  
  
 “Yes!” he shouts, standing up on the sofa again and jumps up and down. “Yes please, Papa!” He slides down to the floor, and runs up the stairs to Baby’s new room. Daddy and Oliver bought Baby a pink doggy for when Baby was borned.  
  
 “Papa!” Oliver shouts when he walks down the stairs. The doggy is big, so he needs to be careful so he doesn’t fall. “I’m ready for my sister now!” He walks to the door, and puts the doggy on the mat for safe keeping. He opens the door to the wardrobe and looks for his best shoes. They’re black with velcro so he can do them himself. Oliver sits down next to the doggy and carefully fastens the velcro. It needs to be perfect for his sister. He needs to look his best.  
  
When Papa and Nana finally have finished talking, Oliver has already put on his jacket and sits leaning on the door waiting.  
  
 “ _Finally_ ,” he sighs. “I’ve been waiting and waiting and waiting.”  
  
 “Did you do your shoes up by yourself?” Papa asks, and he looks surprised.  
  
 “ _Yes_ , Papa,” Oliver says, and furrows his eyebrows. “I’m a big boy now, a big brother even. I can velcro my own shoes.” Papa nods, looking serious.  
  
 “Of course, how silly of me. Come on then, grab the dog and let’s go see Daddy and Baby.” Papa grabs his hand, and together they walk to the car. Papa helps Oliver, because the seatbelt is a little tricky even though he’s a big brother now. Sometimes Daddies can help, Oliver thinks, but not always. He waves at Nana in her car.  
  
 “Papa put on some music please!”

 

***

 

Daddy is still in bed when they come to the hopsital. Weird, it’s day time! He’s wearing a bracelet on his wrist, together with the one Oliver made for him in Nursery. The new one is ugly, and just made of boring plastic. Oliver’s is colourful like a rainbow, and says _I_ and _you_ with a heart in the middle. Miss Jane helped him with that. Oliver walks behind Papa when they go into the room, because it smells and looks much different from home. Home doesn’t have machines and white walls and white beds and white everything. Papa walks up to Daddy and kisses him on the mouth instead of saying hi. They do that all the time. It’s because they’re in love, Oliver knows that. Papa pushes him forward, and he wishes Ellie the Elephant was with him now instead of Baby’s pink doggy, because he’s a little scared, even though it’s only Daddy.  
  
 “Hi Dilly love,” Daddy says, and Oliver’s never seen him smile that big. “Do you wanna meet your sister?” Oliver just nods. Daddy shifts on the bed, and moves Baby a little, so she’s looking at Oliver. He stands on his tippy toes to come closer. He looks at Daddy and then Baby.  
  
 “Am I allowed to touch her?” He asks quietly.  
  
 “Of course, honey,” Daddy says. Oliver reaches up to stroke her head, like Daddies do to him all the time.  
  
 “Hello Baby,” he whispers. “I’m your big brother. My name is Oliver. I’m very happy to meet you finally. Are you happy to meet me?” He can hear Daddy sniffle, and Papa kissing him again, but Oliver only looks at Baby. She’s very pretty, doesn’t look at all like an old lady like in Papa’s photo. Papa lifts him up on the bed, so he can see Baby even better. He’s being very careful because she’s only tiny.  
  
 “This is Otis the Dog. I named him, but if you don’t like it, you can change it.” He puts it next to her on Daddy’s chest.  
  
 “What’s her name?” Oliver asks.  
  
 “We don’t know,” Papa says. “What do you think?”  
  
 “Rapunzel,” Oliver says quickly. “That’s the best name.” Daddy looks down at Baby and shakes his head, but he’s not laughing like Papa.  
  
 “Hm, I don’t think she looks like a Rapunzel. Look closer, honey.” Oliver frowns. Rapunzel _is_ the best name for a baby because Rapunzel is the prettiest girl on telly, and Baby is the prettiest girl in the _world_.  
  
 “What do you think of Ruby?” Papa asks. “Or Harper?”  
  
Oliver scratches his head as he thinks because that’s what he’s seen on telly.  
  
 “Maybe Ruby. It’s not the best name, but it’s pretty good.” Daddies both smile at him.  
  
 “It’s pretty good,” Daddy says when Oliver kisses Baby Ruby on the head.

 

***

 

Oliver is super excited today. It’s home time from Baby Ruby. Papa and Oliver is going to the hopsital in their car to pick Daddy and Ruby up. It’s been very quiet in the house because Daddy’s stayed at the hopsital. Oliver’s missed Daddy the most, but Papa and him made a card for Baby Ruby. Papa wrote most because Oliver only knows how to write Oliver, Papa, Daddy, and Ruby. He’s still learning. But Oliver drew the whole family on it; Daddy with curly hair, Papa with blue eyes, Oliver with a superhero cape, and Baby Ruby with a nice dress.  
  
 “Papa,” Oliver asks when they sit in the car. Oliver holds the card for safekeeping, and Ellie the Elephant sits next to him as usual. There’s another car seat next to Ellie. Before, Oliver had to sit behind Daddy when Papa was driving, but today he sits behind Papa. It’s because it’s safer for Baby Ruby to sit behind the passage sit, Papa said. It’s good to be safe, Oliver thinks. Especially his little sister.  
  
 “Yes sweetheart?”  
  
 “You think Ruby will like her card?”  
  
 “Of course she will,” Papa says. “You spent a long time on it. I’m sure she’ll love it.”  
  
 “That’s good.” Oliver nods, and looks at his pretty card. “I made it because I love my sister, so there’s a lot of love in it.” He looks out of the window, and waves to the cars.  
  
Oliver sits on Papa’s shoulder when they walk into the hopsital. It’s fun to be tall, but it’s even funner sitting on Daddy’s shoulders.  
  
 “Hello Daddy-o!” He shouts. Daddy turns around, but can’t even see Oliver, he’s so tall. “Up here, Daddy! I’m very tall today.” Daddy smiles and reaches up to catch Oliver.  
  
 “Hey Dilly boy, how are you today?”   
  
 “I’m good Daddy. Baby Ruby is coming home today. I made her a card, see.” He shows Daddy the pretty card, holding it super close to his face so he can see everything. “It’s pretty nice, huh?” Daddy laughs and takes the card from Oliver’s hand. He better be careful, it can’t break.  
  
 “Oh, it’s lovely, darling. Did you do this all by yourself?” Oliver nods.  
  
 “Yeah. I even wroted on it, see? But Papa helped a little with the hard words.” Daddy smiles and kisses his forehead.  
  
 “ _To my baby sister Ruby. I love you very much and I hope you love me too. I promise to be the best big brother in the whole world. Lots of hugs and kisses, love from your big brother Oliver Edward William Tomlinson_ ,” Daddy reads. He looks like he almost is going to cry. Oliver puts his hands on his cheeks and squeezes them together. “That’s beautiful, Dilly,” Daddy says, and Oliver giggles because his voice sounds funny.  
  
 “Thank you Daddy! Are we going home now? I wanna show my little sister her new room!” Daddy squeezes him in a tight, tight hug.  
  
 “Daddy!” Oliver laughs, “I can’t breathe.” Daddy squeezes him a little more before putting him down on the floor. Ruby is still lying in her little plastic bed that’s not very nice. It’s old and dirty and not good for a pretty baby.  
  
 “Hello little sister,” Oliver says, standing on his tippy toes. “You’re coming home today, to our house. It’s very nice, much nicer than this stinky hopsital. Are you super happy? I am.” Ruby makes a quiet noise, and Oliver thinks that means _yes_ , because he’s very good at baby language. Probably the best actually. Papa comes over to pick Ruby up from the stinky bed. Daddy helps him put a jacket on Ruby, that makes her look like a tiny polar bear, and little booties as well. Everything with Ruby is teeny tiny, and she doesn’t even have any teethies yet! Daddies say she’ll get teethies when she’s a little bigger, but now she can’t even eat normal food, only milk. Boring.  
  
Baby Ruby sits next to Oliver in the car. She sits back-to-front, which is a little weird, but Daddies said it’s for safe-keeping. Then it’s pretty good. It’s best to be safe, Oliver thinks.  
  
 “Remember to drive carefully, Papa,” Oliver says. “Ruby has never gone in a car before, she might be scared.” He can’t reach Ruby’s hand, but he let’s her borrow Ellie the Elephant just in case.  
  
 “I promise to be safe, honey,” Papa says, and he even slows down a little. It’s good that he listens to Oliver. He knows best.

 

***

 

Baby Ruby does not like their house. She only cries and cries. She seems not very happy. Maybe she doesn’t love her family. Oliver can’t sleep at night, even though he’s very sleepy. Sometimes he wants to cry too, and he does, but only because he’s super sleepy. Daddies are sleepy too, because Ruby keeps them up all night. Maybe Ruby is like a cat, sleeping during the day and awake at night, and Daddies don’t understand because they think she’s a person baby. He says that to Daddy before naptime one day, but Daddy only laughs.  
  
 “No, darling,” he says. “Ruby is not a kitten. She’s just a normal baby. They cry at night sometimes because they’re little and don’t know how to talk yet. You cried all the time as well.”  
  
Oliver frowns. “Nuh-uh,” he says. That doesn’t sound like him. He’s a very nice boy. Daddy nods.   
  
 “Yes you did, all babies do.”  
  
 “But Daddy, what if my little sister only cries because she doesn’t like her new house. She never cried before, what if she liked it better in your tummy?” Daddy shakes his head.  
  
 “I don’t think that’s it. I think she loves her house, and her room! She knows how pretty you helped making it for her. She loves you very much, did you know that?” Daddy pulls Oliver into his lap and cuddles him close. “Ruby’s only crying because she can’t communicate otherwise. It’s like when we talk, right? We just have to teach her how to talk super quick so we can sleep, don’t we?” Oliver giggles.   
  
 “I can teach her,” he says. “I’m the best teacher.” Daddy laughs and wrestles Oliver down on the bed. Instead of napping, Daddy starts tickling him, and that’s much better, Oliver thinks.

 

***

 

Even though Oliver is a big brother and a super big boy now, he isn’t allowed to carry Baby Ruby anywhere. If Daddies are not in the room, Oliver is only allowed to look at his sister, and play with her in her sitter. It’s not fair. Oliver should be allowed to do everything because he’s a big brother now. Daddies just don’t understand.  
  
Oliver is playing with Ruby and her baby toys when he smells it. He thinks Ruby just did a poo poo, but Daddies are too busy with dinner and the washing up to notice. It smells pretty bad. He’s seen Daddies change Ruby a million times, it’s a piece of cake now. The buckle is tricky, but Oliver’s helped Daddies many times so he knows exactly what do. He’s careful when he lifts her. He’s actually never done it, but he’s seen Daddies do it loads, so he knows what to do. He knows to hold one hand under her bum bum and one on her neck. Ruby is super weak in her neck, and if you don’t hold her neck she might lose her head. That’s what Daddy said anyway. She is a little heavy, but Oliver’s strong, so he can carry her as long as he wants. Walking up the stairs seem scary, so instead he puts her on the rug. The nappies are all the way upstairs in Ruby’s room, but there are also some in the buggy by the door.  
  
 “Stay there, I’ll be back,” he says and kisses Ruby’s cheek before running off to her buggy. First, Oliver was a little jealous Ruby had a buggy and not him, but then Papa bought him a wheelie board so he didn’t have to walk anymore. That’s pretty good. Then he can rest his legs and play even more.  
  
Oliver has just found the nappies and the wet wipes when he hears Daddy.  
  
 “Oliver! Come in here please.” Oh no. That’s Daddy’s disappointed voice. He doesn’t know why Daddy’s disappointed, he almost _never_ is, _and_ Oliver hasn’t done anything wrong. He just wanted to help change Ruby’s nappy. He’s not running when he walks back to the living room, because he doesn’t want to be punished. He almost never gets punished, because he’s a good boy, Daddies’ best boy they always say, but Daddy sounds super disappointed. Oliver’s eyes are sad when he comes back into the living room, but he wipes at them because he doesn’t want Daddy to see.  
  
 “Oliver,” Daddy says when he sees Oliver standing behind the bookshelf. “Please come here to me.”  
  
 “What is it Daddy?” He’s standing up, holding Ruby to his chest, like Oliver likes it. Ruby’s eyes are sad too, actually, all of Ruby is sad because she’s crying. Sometimes when Ruby’s crying, Daddy cries, and Oliver too, because he doesn’t want his little sister to be sad. Oliver is still hiding behind the bookshelf.  
  
 “Why was Ruby on the floor by herself?” Oliver slips his thumb in his mouth.  
  
 “Was gonna change her, Daddy,” he whispers. Daddy raises his eyebrows.  
  
Oliver walks closer, and Daddy grabs his arm gently to pull his fingers out of his mouth.  
  
 “Don’t do that, Dilly, it’s not good for your teeth,” Daddy says. “Now, please tell me why your little sister was on the floor and not in her sitter.” Oliver takes a deep breath.  
  
 “Ruby did a poo poo, and I was gonna be a good big brother and change her.” Daddy frowns.  
  
 “And what have we said about that, Ollie?” Daddy asks, but it’s a question Oliver doesn’t have to answer. “Do you understand what could’ve happened?” Oliver is quiet, but something hurts inside. He wants Ellie the Elephant. Or a hug from Daddies.  
  
 “All right,” Daddy says. “If you’re not gonna talk to me, then I guess you don’t have to go play with Ziggy tomorrow either.” Oliver gapes.  
  
 “But Dad-!”  
  
 “No buts! You know the rules, Ollie.” Oliver stomps his foot hard in the floor, Daddy’s being super unfair. Before Daddy or Oliver can say anything else, Papa comes in from the kitchen.   
  
 “What’s going on in here then?” Oliver runs to Papa and starts crying, even though that’s only for babies. It’s only because Daddy’s being a meanie.  
  
 “Was gonna help my little sister, but then Daddy is angry and said I’m not playing with Ziggy tomorrow. I only help, Papa!” Oliver hides his face in Papa’s leg and cries and cries. He was bad, he knows, but he only wants to help because he loves Ruby most in the world. More than Ellie the Elephant even. He feels Papa’s hand in his hair, and he rubs his face closer to Papa. It’s nice. Papa’s very nice.  
  
 “Okay, maybe we should sit down and _talk_ ,” Oliver looks up at Papa, but Papa is looking only at Daddy with his eyebrows raised. “And explain to Oliver why what he did was wrong.” Oliver cries a little more, and Papa picks him up to carry him to the sofa. Papa strokes Oliver’s hair, and it’s the best feeling. Daddies love Oliver very much, he knows it, but maybe Daddy doesn’t love him anymore because he was a naughty boy.  
  
 “Oliver,” Papa says when they’re all sitting on the sofa. Daddy’s put Ruby back in her sitter, and she sits babbling her baby language. “Why did you leave Ruby on the floor by herself?” Oliver sighs. He already told Daddy, so he doesn’t know why he has to say it again, but he does anyway because he doesn’t want to be in more trouble.   
  
 “I smelled Ruby’s poo poo, so I had to change her because you was busy.” He looks down in ‘barrassment. “I only help, you say I should help, so I help, then you get angry, I don’t know why.”  
  
 “Honey, Daddy’s only disappointed because he got scared for Ruby,” Papa says. “You know you’re not allowed to carry her by yourself. I know you’re a big brother, but you’re still only four years old.” Oliver opens his mouth, but Papa terrupts.  
  
 “We’re only looking out for you. We don’t have these rules because we like to punish you, we have them because we don’t want anything to happen to either of you.”  
  
 “We love you both very much,” Daddy says. “We only wants what’s best for you. When you’re older, you can help take care of Ruby by yourself, but right now, you’re too little.” Oliver sighs, and wiggles his toes. They’re a little cold, but he can’t ask for socks right now because Daddies are having a serious talk.  
  
 “Oliver, do you understand why Daddy is disappointed?” Oliver nods. It’s a little unfair, but Daddies said they still love him, so he understands a little.   
  
 “Hey, you know what?” Papa says, and lifts Oliver’s head up to look at Daddies. “Since you’re being a big boy about this, you can still play with Ziggy tomorrow. But!” He says before Oliver can say anything, “only if you apologise. I know you didn’t know you were doing anything wrong, but you still broke the rules, so if you apologise, we’ll let you go to Ziggy’s house tomorrow, okay?” Oliver sighs again. Daddy does it too, and Oliver likes that he and Daddy are the same.  
  
 “Okay,” he says. “I’m sorry for breaking the rules. I only try to help, but sometimes it’s wrong. Next time, I’ll tell Daddies.” Daddy strokes his hair and kisses his forehead.   
  
 “That’s all right. I’m sorry I got upset with you, Dilly.”  
  
 “That’s okay, Daddy.” He grins. He just thought of the best idea. “Maybe we can watch a film instead of fighting.” Daddies laugh.  
  
 “Yeah, okay,” Papa says. “Let’s watch _One Hundred and One Dalmatians_.” That makes Oliver so happy he has to jump up and down in the sofa.

 

***

 

It’s late. Oliver knows because he’s in dream land, but can hear Daddies talk. They’re talking about him and Ruby, about their family. He’s too sleepy to wake up for real, so he’s just listening. He likes hearing Daddies talk, because they always say nice things to each other. Tonight they say nice things about Oliver too.  
  
 “He’s got his heart in the right place,” Papa says. “I can’t believe how alike you two are. You’re both so sweet, and kind, and you always want the best for everyone.” Daddy snorts.

  “I lose my temper all the time though,” he says, “especially with him.” Papa clears his throat, and Oliver hears him move closer to Daddy.  
  
 “Well, yeah, but I think it’s because you’re family. You love each other, and that allows you to let your frustrations out. You know he only wants what’s best. He would never to anything out of malice. He just thinks he’s bigger than what he is, especially since Ruby.”  
  
 “Do you--” Daddy sighs. “Do you think I was too hard on him before?” Oliver doesn’t have to look to know his Papa is smiling.  
  
 “Yes,” he says. “But I also know that you’re irrational at times, and you act without thinking sometimes, not only when you’re angry. Don’t beat yourself up over it, we’ve sorted it out, he’s not upset with you anymore.”  
  
 “I think,” Papa says after five breaths, “that we’re gonna have loads of these situations when you overreact. But that’s what makes us the best team, baby. You set the bar too high, then I come in and make a rational decision, and we’ll find a middle ground. I’m not saying you’re always gonna be wrong, H, don’t look at me like that. I’m just saying you act on your emotions a lot, and that’s why it goes wrong sometimes. Don’t worry, I’ll always be there to back you up, babe.” Oliver hears kissing noises after that, and then someone lifts him up. Someone kisses him good night, and he thinks it’s Papa, because it smells only like Daddy when they walk up the stairs.  
  
He falls asleep to Daddy singing the lullaby quietly in his ear. Oliver smiles sleepily, hearing his Daddy sing his favourite song. His life is pretty good. The best even. He loves his life. And he loves his family.

 

“ _Lavender’s blue, dilly dilly, lavender’s green_

_When you are king, dilly dilly, I shall be queen._

_Who told you so, dilly dilly, who told you so?_

_T’was my own heart, dilly dilly, that told me so.”_

 

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi on [tumblr!](https://livvywritesgay.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Please comment and leave kudos, it'll make me very happy. Also, reblog it [here](http://livvywritesgay.tumblr.com/post/179819455908/twas-my-own-heart-that-told-me-so-by) if you fancy sharing it.


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